How To Sell $1.25 for $30 Or More

Since we are so tight on money lately, my hubby got the great idea to sell... money! Weird? He's been a coin collector for a long time. Here's our Ebay auction - Item Number 320161994210. I wrote it... can you tell?

Up for auction - $1.25 + Box + extra piece of paper that says “Certificate of Authenticity.”

So right now my husband and I are looking for ways to stay on our feet after having a baby who spent 16 weeks in the hospital. As much as I love working outside the home, it’s just not possible right now (darn!) You see, our little one is a bit special and requires the care of a nurse in my absence… something most daycares don’t seem to have on hand these days. How much does a nurse cost? $27 and hour! Unfortunately, that’s like, twice what I would make if I went back to work. Essentially, I would be paying someone so I could go enjoy slaving away for some boss who never seems satisfied with anything I do. Angels could fly out my butt and this guy would probably call me in and tell me to hang fly strips to clean up the mess I’d made. Not gonna happen.

We’ve been brainstorming for new and different ways to make some extra cash to help pay all the bills. We’re making an attempt to sell our nice, 4 bedroom house so we can trade Texas suburbia in for a singlewide trailer out in tornado ally. I’m really looking forward to some nice circa 1962 orange and green shag carpet and those nice polyester window treatments! Maybe we can even get an Elvis TV tray! yippee.

OK – so last night we were thinking of some more ways to drum up a little extra money when I saw a little light-bulb turn on over my husband’s head.
“Turn off the light... we’re trying to conserve electricity!” I yelled at our 4-year-old.
After we were sitting in the dark again husband exclaimed, “I know! We can sell some of my coin collection!”
“Your COIN collection? You want to sell money for money?” Huh – what a novel idea.

My husband dug out his coin collection which he keeps stored in a bucket, and started going through it. I admit that the whole time I couldn’t help thinking ‘here we are living on peanut butter and eggs, our children are wearing clothes I find at garage sales for $.25 and my husband has a bucket of money hidden in the closet! And this makes sense… how?’

This actually isn’t quite just a bucket of loose change or anything. It has these things called “Proof Sets” and stuff in it that this man has been collecting his whole life. My husband tells me that a “Proof Set” is a nicely packaged set of coins that have all been pressed twice, put in a cheepo plastic case and have never been touched by human hands. I am assuming the government employs monkeys to package these for us. I see this little case holding five shiny quarters and I see “$1.25.” Evidently my husband believes we can sell $1.25 on Ebay for more than $1.25.

This particular “Proof Set” is a 2001-S set of 5 quarters. It has New York with a picture of Lady Liberty (did you know she’s a French immigrant?). The Vermont quarter has a picture of some tree vampire sucking the maple out of a couple poor, defenseless trees. There is a North Carolina quarter with a picture of the Wright Brothers trying not to crash an airplane. The Rhode Island quarter has a nice little boat on it (how is it that a state that is smaller than Dallas and Fort Worth together gets its own quarter? Shouldn’t Alaska, Texas and California get two quarters each then?). Finally there is a Kentucky quarter with a mansion and a pretty horse on it. Have you ever noticed that the board fence on this quarter is four boards high, but it barely even comes up to this horse’s chest? Now either that’s a TALL horse, or someone needs to get their money back for that crappy fence work!

These quarters are all very shiny and look pretty against the blue background. (Hey – I’m female… we’re kind of like crows. If it’s sparkly, we’ll probably be attracted to it.) There are no scratches on the case from the monkeys and no discoloration of the coins. The cardboard box has a pissed off looking Eagle on it and shows some wear across the place that says 2001. My husband says we got it that way. (I guess it’s no use asking for our “money” back?)

Now, as these quarters are from 2001, I would consider this NEW money. We all know that new money has a reputation for buying Ferraris and wearing fur just to show off. From what I have seen, new money often ends up in rehab, so if you buy this money, keep an eye on it! We take no responsibility for the actions of this money after it leaves our bucket.

I know my husband has some OLD money in his bucket too. I’m not as worried about keeping that stuff around. Chances are it will spend its time hanging out in the Hamptons or doing lunch with Buffy and Biff. Whatever. I also found a few old paper dollars in the bucket. Does this make my husband a bill collector, too? And I thought I knew the guy! Sob, sob.

Now then, if you want to buy $1.25 worth of quarters that have only been handled by monkeys, please bid on this item. I looked out at some other sales on Ebay and it seems there are plenty of folks out there who want to buy five quarters for, like, $35 or something. And you think I’m funny?

PAYMENT OPTIONS: Hey – you’re buying MONEY. Pay us MONEY for this money. *** We prefer PayPal *** However, Money Orders, Cashiers Checks or Cash are accepted. If you have anything else sparkly, I might consider it.

PAYMENTS: All winning bidders are expected to complete the purchase through PayPal, Cashier’s Check, Cash or Money Order within 7 days of auction close. Any Non-Paying winning bidder will be left negative feedback and/or Non-Paying Bidder Status with Ebay after 10 days of non-payment, and we won’t send the pretty quarters.

RETURNS & REFUNDS: Product is being sold in as-is condition. The box is a tiny bit dog-eared, but the quarters inside the plastic have never been touched by HUMAN hands. No returns will be accepted or refunds made – even if you find monkey prints on the money. Please look at pictures prior to purchase. E-mail for more pictures.

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