Conversation With A Six-Year-Old

When Jake was four, he started with the basics of "where do babies come from?" We were in the car on the long drive home from school, and it took everything in my power not to suck my gum into my windpipe. My dear mother (thank you mom, for everything) taught by example that honesty and a straight forward approach is the best policy, so I proceeded with care.

I started in terms that I felt he could best handle by explaining that when a mommy dinosaur and a daddy dinosaur want to have a baby, they get very close together and the daddy dinosaur puts his sperm in the mommy dinosaur and so on. That was good enough for a four-year-old.

One evening while driving home, Jake (who was turning seven in two weeks) suddenly and out of nowhere piped up from the back seat, "So how does the man get the sperm get into a woman?"
I took a deep breath while putting some effort into keeping the car on the road, thought for a moment and replied, "Well, it comes out of his penis." Don't you love saying penis while driving? No? Well then why do these "cherished moments" so often happen whilst navigating rush-hour traffic?
"His penis? Ewwww!" (Pause) "But how does it get inside the woman?"
"It goes in through her vagina." Yup - another of my favorite words! I explained this to him cringing only slightly this time and swerving to miss a cement mixer entering the busy highway two inches in front of me.
"Eeeeewwwwwww!" (Pause) "But it couldn't fit in there!" Jake exclaimed. I peeked and caught him making the most horrendous expression in the rear-view mirror. I swallowed my giggle, sped up to pass the cement mixer which was moving about 20 mph slower than the rest of the traffic and answered him, “Well, GOD made animals and people so that it does fit because he wants us to be able to have babies."
"Eeeeewwwww! That's gross!" (Pause) "Do they take their clothes off?" He asked in horror.
"Usually." I stated, again trying not to giggle, and blushing a rosy shade of purple, I'm sure.
"Eww! That’s nasty!" (Pause) "You'd think GOD could have thought of something better than THAT!"